Fear and Idols

I'm hesitant to post this after dealing with my motivational issue, but I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway.

Yesterday in church, JR said something in his sermon that really convicted me. He basically said that if we're not a little bit afraid, then we're not being dependent on God. I know that depending on God means that life may not go the way that I want it to. He may ask me to give up everything. I was okay with that for many years. Then, I had children. While there were many things in my life that I would have been upset to lose, nothing would upset me more than losing my children. In my previous post, I blamed my lack of spending time with God on my busy life. That's only partly true. I think that I'm afraid of totally depending on God because I know that he may take me down a path that I really don't want to go down. It pretty much boils down to this: I'm treasuring my children more than I'm treasuring God. I don't think there's an easy fix to this. I hope and pray that God will change my heart so that I no longer make my children idols in my life.

These thoughts remind me of one of my favorite excerpts from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis:

[Lucy asks,] "Is Aslan quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver. "If there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or just plain silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

In another exerpt from C.S. Lewis' The Silver Chair, Jill is very thirty, but Aslan is standing by the water:

"Will you promise not to do anything to me, if I do come?" said Jill.
"I make no promise," said the Lion...
"Do you eat girls?" she asked.
"I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms," said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
"I dare not come and drink," said Jill.
"Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.
"Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer. "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then."
"There is no other stream," said the Lion.

Basically, we all have two choices. Submit to the God who is in control but not safe or die of thirst. Following God isn't safe, but I must stop idolizing my children and follow him because I am so thirsty.