I know that I'm writing about something that is foreign to many of you and probably grosses some of you out. I carefully considered whether I should post this, and I decided that if you were offended, then you just don't have to read this, although you probably should.
Recently, a mother of a three-month-old infant was asked by an officer to stop breastfeeding her son outside a courtroom in Tennessee or move to a more discreet location. You can read more about it here. This incident really got me thinking about the controversial issue of breastfeeding in public.
Tennessee Code Annotated §§ 68-58-101 to -103 protects the rights of breastfeeding mothers. Here's what those statutes state: "A mother has a right to breastfeed her child who is twelve (12) months of age or younger in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be present." Tenn. Code Ann. § 68-58-101. "The act of breastfeeding shall not be considered: (1) Public indecency . . . ; or (2) Nudity, obscene, or sexual conduct . . . ." § 68-58-102. "A unit of local government shall not prohibit breastfeeding in public by local ordinance." § 68-58-103.
Essentially, no one could legally stop this mother from breastfeeding her young son outside the courtroom. If you read the comments to the article that I linked to above, you'll see that many people applaud the officer for attempting to stop her and think that women should never breastfeed in public.
While a woman is legally permitted to breastfeed in public, does she commit some moral sin if she chooses to do so? When is it appropriate? Is there an appropriate way to go about it?
I must confess that my views on public breastfeeding have vastly changed since becoming a breastfeeding mother. To begin, let me clue you in on some things that shape the views of breastfeeding moms. Many couples take childbirth classes sometime during their first pregnancy. One of those class sessions is normally devoted to breastfeeding. During that session, you watch a very graphic video all about breastfeeding and learn how superior breast milk is to formula. That is just the beginning of the desensitizing. When a woman gives birth, she's completely exposed to a large number of people. All modesty goes out the window. While recovering from birth, hospital staff (men and women) are in and out of her room all the time. If she's breastfeeding, there's a good chance that she'll be exposed to a number of them. Nurses and lactation consultants will also likely "man-handle" her as they try to teach her how to breastfeed because it really doesn't come naturally. While most women are initially uncomfortable with all of this exposure, they have to become somewhat comfortable with it to cope. This whole experience can make women more comfortable with the prospect of breastfeeding in public.
Then, these mothers leave the hospital and enter a world where they receive mixed messages regarding breastfeeding. You're supposed to do it because it's best for the baby, but you're not supposed to let anyone else see you doing it. Now, a breastfed baby must eat every 2-3 hours because breastmilk, unlike formula, is fully digested in 90 minutes. A breastfeeding mom has few choices: totally isolate herself, switch to formula, or breastfeed in public. Now for those of you who are unfamilar with breastfeeding, you may think that the mother has another option: just give the baby a bottle while she's in public. This really doesn't work for a number of reasons. When it's time for a breastfeeding mother to feed her baby, she's got to do it. If she doesn't, she'll become engorged, which in addition to being incredibly uncomfortable and even painful at times, puts her at risk for diminishing her milk supply, clogged ducts, and mastitis. Also, the baby may not take the bottle, especially when mom is around. Although the prospect grosses me out somewhat, ducking into a bathroom to feed a baby may be easy enough with one child, but when you have more than one child, it really isn't feasible (unless you don't mind your older child playing with toilets in a public restroom).
I want to know what you think. As I previously asked, while a woman is legally permitted to breastfeed in public, does she commit some moral sin if she chooses to do so? When is it appropriate? Is there an appropriate way to go about it? Do the same rules apply in all public places? (i.e. are some places more conducive to public breastfeeding than others?) Feel free to comment on the subject. I'm curious to know what other people are thinking. I'm also wondering if this subject is just a little bit too "taboo" for anyone to want to comment on. Oh well. We'll see.
Here's my thoughts. I understand that many people are extremely uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. I understand you because I used to be one of you. Sometimes, however, I don't see another option other than never leaving my house. I do value modesty, so I've invested in a good coverup. However, not everyone can afford a $40 coverup, and using it outside in the heat really doesn't work well. Also, I'm personally comfortable using my coverup at a place like the park but not at church. I'm also more comfortable breastfeeding around people who have children than around people who don't. I like for everyone to be happy and don't want to offend anyone, but I don't know if that's really possible. How concerned should I be about other people? So many things to consider. I really hate gray areas.
[image: Slavery and Christ’s Supreme Lordship]
In a world of many authorities, we magnify the supreme lordship of Christ
by the way we submit to the fading...
8 comments:
oooh...great post!
hmm...
my first thought is that i do see public breastfeeding more of a cultural issue than a moral one. nursing in public is absolutely natural and no big deal in many other countries!
i always like to be considerate of people, but you're right...when you have another child/children to watch, it seems just plain silly let them run around in a nasty public bathroom while you feed a baby in a nasty stall, sitting on a nasty toilet!!!
i found myself being uncomfortable nursing in public or even just in private around friends/family... just b/c i've always been REALLY modest, but also b/c i would be absolutely MORTIFIED if i was accidently exposed!!!
i found this in response to a similar article/post: "The problem is that there is a major cultural hurdle in this country where breastfeeding is concerned. Maybe the problem lies in the way that breasts are marketed in mass-circulation daily newspapers. Breasts are there for ogling and, by implication, are a step along the road to sexual fulfilment. Any thought of their natural function in relation to childbearing fuels embarrassment (something that seems to be deeply embedded in the national psyche), which is compounded when a woman is actually SEEN to be doing it. "
well that's it for now...i can't wait to read others comments!
I wasn't able to breastfeed any of my babies for very long but I did have all of those same thoughts and feelings. Now though, I can't help but wonder who is more "at fault". The mother who is only trying to feed her child or the officer who couldn't seem to simply turn his head and give her the respect and privacy that she deserved. Is it so hard to look the other way? I don't suppose she whipped it out there and showed it off for a while before feeding her child. If she did, then yes, I can understand his issue. But if she, like most mothers that I know, tried to hide her breasts as best as she could, then maybe it is his problem.
God gave us the ability to feed our children in this way. It is a beautiful and amazing thing. I agree with Jo that our society has made it something different by the way "breasts are marketed as something that is there for ogling."
So I guess my opinion is that if it offends you, don't look and if you can't help yourself, maybe you should be the one who moves to another location.
Good points, Laura. I don't think there's a thing wrong with it. I used to be a lot more nervous about it, but that was before I did it. I think this is definitely linked to our sexualized society. A nursing mom isn't trying to be brazen, she's trying to feed her baby. It's easier for some women to be more discreet than others based-on breast size and baby temperament, heat, etc... Now I would be mindful of not exposing myself if I were around men who were not family, but not because I think it's a sexual or wrong thing. I just don't want other men to see my boobs! But if they do---oh well. I think it's probably a really healthy thing for men to see women breastfeeding (they can do that without seeing all of the actual breast), I think it would give a much more realistic view of a woman's body instead of just being there for their pleasure. God created our breasts to function in different ways, and if we continue to be shameful about it, I think we're perpetuating a society that looks upon it as something dirty. The fact is, it's not dirty, it's not sexual, it's the way God designed things to work. I think that's something to be proud of and to let it happen as we go about our normal lives, wherever that may be. (BTW, I'm a little bothered that TN law only protects nursing moms of children 12 months and under.)
Well, I'm not a mother and I sometimes do get uncomfortable when seeing women feeding in public, BUT...recently a lot of my friends have begun having babies and well, I've learned that, you don't always know when your baby is going to begin crying uncontrolably because they are hungry and you thought they would be good for another 30 min.- 1 hour. So, if breastfeeding is your babies nourishment, give it to them! I think I would be more uncomfortable seeing a women hunched over in a nasty uncomfortable corner of a bathroom feeding her baby than on a bench in whatever public place she may be at the time. I mean, who are men to judge...I'm sure all mothers would agree that they are simply trying to do there best in all situations.
Laura..this has nothing to do with your post, but i don't have your email address...you've got to go back and check out my husbands response to your last comment. you two are cracking me up. oh...and thanks for siding with me!
after reading the article and following comments, it appears that there are many ignorant people in the state of tennessee and i am not sure who was truly in the wrong, but i do not believe that your question is about the law as much as it is our ability to practice the law.
you are right about how quickly you give up your modesty the second you become pregnant and in turn change how you view your body. i do consider myself to be a modest person, but have nursed both my children in public places. this decision was out of necessity, not desire to put court decisions to the test or flaunt my ability to feed my child. if one has ever nursed, then you are aware of the daunting task at hand. and the task becomes even more difficult as the child becomes more aware of their surroundings and/or you add another child to the mix. for myself, i attempted to find a comfortable place for whoever was in tow where i could modestly feed my child. i have never received any unpleasing comments, but have received many smiles and knowing glances from other women who have shared the burden and remember it fondly.
all that to say, i think in our society, we all wish for some to show more modesty than they do. it is a personal preference and in this case a law protects those who chose to do it, whether modest or not. and, as someone who has breastfed, i am thankful for that law.
Maribeth also blogged some more about this. Read it here: http://malahy.blogspot.com/2008/06/thoughts-about-breastfeeding.html
i came to this blog by way of maribeth's post :) i nursed faith until she was 15 months old, far longer than i ever thought i would when i got pregnant! i do think the major difficulty is that breasts are equated with sex in our culture, not with providing nourishment for our children. i have nursed in public, although i always made an effort to remain as covered as possible (more for my sake than others!) i do think that some care must be taken when nursing in public (i made a point to go elsewhere when our friends' teen/young 20s sons were around and i know from them how uncomfortable they are when another mom has just popped everything out in front of them on numerous occasions.) having said all of that, i think it's a matter of time. breastfeeding is more common than it was 10 years ago, and women are taking the situation into their own hands by being willing to modestly feed their children in public. when we have another baby one day, i will hopefully nurse as long as i did faith, at home, in public, and generally covered up ;)
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